“Wayside was life changing, I've never returned to my old life.”
2013 was a horrendous year. I had just left an abusive relationship of 24 years, and whilst my partner wasn’t violent towards me, he was a very violent and controlling man. I just couldn’t cope with it anymore. Whilst I felt really ashamed to ask for help, I reached out to my doctors and was helped by the domestic support services to leave the relationship.
After selling our house, I couldn’t find anywhere to live. I also didn’t have a job. My main skills were as a hairdresser, but I needed an income immediately, and didn’t have time to build up a client base. One of my daughters managed to find me somewhere to live, and whilst it was very run down, it was something.
Not long after i’d moved there though, her dad came back into her life, and talked me into living back with him for a few months, where he really punished me for leaving him. I had to take back some control of my life so ended up leaving his, and went to live with my daughters. This wasn’t a good atmosphere to live in though, my daughters just couldn’t accept that I wasn’t the mum they used to know. Things became difficult and eventually I left and ended up living in my car.
I didn’t have enough fuel money to drive around all day, so sometimes I’d park up on a road and stay there for hours. I was aware that on some streets, there would be people who’d see me pull up and question who I was and what I was doing, so I’d then move on. I never felt safe for long, I was in a really bad place. My phone battery kept dying, and I could only keep it going by keeping the engine running to charge it, but that was expensive.
I’d reached out to the support services, but they couldn’t get me the support I needed quick enough, and I felt hopeless. I was on the phone to a doctor explaining how suicidal I was feeling, and was admitted to A&E where the hospital team began searching for emergency accommodation for me. The next day I found out I’d been accepted at Wayside.
When I moved into Wayside in October 2013, I was really broken, but I soon settled in. Once I’d unpacked my things, my new room slowly became my home. I started to feel more relaxed and safe and was introduced to the housemates. It was a big change in my life, moving from chaos to a quiet space. I was the oldest in the house at that time, and got on really well with the younger women. They used to sit and chat with me and we’d make meals together, it was lovely. I think they saw me as a mother figure. I had a lot of prayer, counselling, encouragement and love from staff during my time at Wayside. I also came to faith.
“When I arrived I just remember really crying. I thought ‘this can’t be it, it’s too nice’ but it was real. This was my new home.”
“With the support of Wayside staff, I mustered the strength to resist going back to what I was familiar with, and being drawn back into cycles of abuse.”
In July 2014 I moved into a local authority flat, which Wayside had nominated me to live in. That was an incredible blessing. I remember putting the postcode details into my TomTom, and when I arrived I just remember really crying. I thought ‘this can’t be it, it’s too nice’ but it was real. This was my new home. My children were delighted when they visited. They’d been really worried about me and I think had found it hard knowing I was at Wayside, even though I was incredibly happy there.
With the support of Wayside staff, I mustered the strength to resist going back to what I was familiar with, and being drawn back into cycles of abuse. Wayside has broken that chain, and I’ve never returned to my old life. I joined a Bible study whilst I was at Wayside which was life changing, and helped me to improve my self esteem by realising how much God loves me. Slowly I began to see the truth of who I am.
“The people at Wayside are like family to me, they’ve truly transformed my life."
I’ve been in my flat for 10 years now, and I’m happy. I suffer with mobility problems and so I’m currently getting my kitchen and bathroom redesigned to make both spaces more accessible. Wayside has been supporting me with my application to make these changes and I’m forever grateful.
I visit Wayside when I can and love helping the residents in one way or another, and encouraging them. I have joined the housemates on a Tuesday evening for Bible study and have helped run courses for the residents too. The people at Wayside are like family to me, they’ve truly transformed my life.
